Day 14 of 30 – The Structure Of Relationships and Human Needs Psychology

What is your 30 day challenge? 

I want you to comment below what is your 30 day challenge? You don’t have to pick a 30 day challenge like me. You don’t have to start it on the first of the month. You can if you want because the first of the month is coming up quick!

It’s the middle of the year. July 1st is coming up soon everybody. So maybe there is a good 30 day challenge you can do for July because it’s summertime. Maybe that’s when you can get up a little bit earlier and spend one hour a day on yourself for the whole month of July. Or maybe you can stop coffee. Maybe you could stop cigarettes for a month. Maybe you could not watch TV for a whole month. Wow. What if you did that? How much time would that give you? That might free up a ton of time. So I just want to encourage you, you are worth whatever challenge you want to give yourself.

Now lets talk some HNP

The 6 human Needs

Today I discuss the six human needs in human needs psychology.

1. Certainty/Stability 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Love/Connection 5. Growth 6. Contribution

Does it strike you as interesting that the first two human needs are contradictory? We are very fascinating creatures us humans… we need certainty and we also need uncertainty. Another word for certainty is stability. So we need stability. Another word for uncertainty is variety. So we need stability, but we also need variety. Can you identify with that? Those were the first two human needs.

The third human need is significance. There are a lot of different ways to gain significance. You can do something great, you can feel significant about it. You can also desire to gain significance in a malignant way, which would be like robbing someone at gunpoint. I mean, you’ve got a gun to their head, you immediately become the most significant person in that person’s life. So there’s a lot of different ways to gain significance. There’s a lot of ways to gain significance in the wrong way. There’s a lot of ways to experience certainty in a positive way so we can experience any one of these human needs in a positive or in a negative way. In a growth way or a harmful way.

Number four is love and connection. This Human Need  deals with romantic love and personal connection. It’s connecting with people all the way down to actual romantic love. So that’s number four.

Four, five and six are the spiritual needs. Five and six are two human needs that not a lot of people, give themselves the opportunity to learn.

If we want to live a fulfilling life, we need to experience these last two. And what I’m learning is a lot, a lot of people don’t get to experience these last two… unless they choose to. You have to choose what you want then go get it.

The last two human needs are growth and contribution.

We always got to feel like we’re growing. If you can constantly grow, you’re going to feel really good. If you can constantly contribute, you’re going to feel really good.

Those are the six human needs and there’s a lot more I have to learn about the interaction between them and the interaction between people and how we use them for our benefit and for our detriment because we can do both ways.

In this episode I also discuss the 3 kinds of relationships PLUS Circles and Triangles!

A. Complimentary Relationships

B. Symmetrical Relationships

C. Malignant Relationships

If you are interested in learning more check out Chloe Madanes – who has some incredible eye opening books!

I love you so much! Until next time, develop awesome skills and go find your gold!

~das

Shareable Meems Below!

Feel Free to Download and Share the Quotable Meems!

Full Episode Transcript With Timecode:

00:00​Good morning everybody. It’s day 14 of my 30 day hike challenge with no coffee. I’m still doing pretty good on the no coffee thing. In fact, I actually don’t even desire it right now. I say that until I smell some coffee, but that’s okay. I didn’t even do any tea yesterday. I didn’t do any caffeine. Hey, that’s maybe why I got really tired, but that’s okay. You know, I’m, I’m making my body get used to this. I’m given 30 days to get totally used to it, but I am almost halfway through today’s day 14 and I’m feeling good. I’m feeling a little bit sore. Uh, I’m feeling tired during the day a little bit, but not as much. Like when I’m awake, when, when I, you know, I take about a two and a half hour nap during the day. Right now it seems, but other than that, whenever I’m awake, I have a lot of energy, so I can’t wait until that till it all just kind of evens out.

01:02​But it’s good. It’s good. So I want you to comment below if you haven’t done it already, what is your 30 day challenge? You don’t have to pick a 30 day challenge. That’s like me. You don’t have to put it on the first of the month. You can cause they’re the first of the month coming up. It’s the middle of the year. July 1st is coming up everybody. So maybe there is a good 30 day challenge you can do for July because it’s summertime. Maybe that’s when you can get up a little bit earlier and spend one hour a day on yourself for the whole month of July. Or maybe you can stop coffee. Maybe you could stop cigarettes for a month. Maybe you could not watch TV for a whole month. Wow. What if you did that? How much time would that give you? That might free up a ton of time. So I just want to encourage you, you are worth whatever challenge you want to give yourself.

01:50​Whatever you know you should be doing right now, but you’re not quite doing it. Give yourself a 30 day challenge. If you’ve got to quit something, you don’t have to quit for good. Just quit it for now for 30 days and give your body a rest. It’s like a30 day fast on something if you want to look at it that way. So I hope you all have an excellent day. It is such a beautiful morning out here. I think the moon’s out again. He’s really up high today. It’s not full where it is. Let’s see if I can eat the moon anyways. All right, so here’s what I want to talk about today, which I have a lot to learn on this topic. I have a ton to learn in this topic, but this is about human needs psychology. I’ve been studying it a little bit here and they’re reading some books on it and it’s really fascinating. I’m reading a book right now byChloe Madonna’s m a d a. N. E. S if you want to Google her, c. H. Chloe. C. H.L. O. E. However you’re supposed to spoke Chloe, but Madonna’s is mad a. N. E.S. So first I’m going to tell you the six human needs cause the six human needs are the base of human needs, psychology, h, and p. The six human needs. The first human need is what do you think it is? It’s uncertainty.

03:16​The interesting thing is the first two human needs, the first one is uncertainty. The second one is, I’m sorry. The first one is certainty. Second one is uncertainty. So those are the first two human needs and doesn’t that just show you immediately how contradictory we are as a human race, we need certainty and we also need uncertainty. Another word for certainty is stability. So we need stability. In other words uncertainty is variety, so we need stability, but we also need variety. Can you identify with that? Those were the first two human needs.What’s the third human need? The third human need is significance. There are a lot of different ways to gain significance. You can do something great, you can feel significant about it. You can also desire to gain significance in a malignant way, which would be like robbing someone at gunpoint. I mean, you’ve got a gun to their head, you immediately become the most significant person in that person’s life. So there’s a lot of different ways to gain significance. There’s a lot of ways to gain significance in the wrong way. There’s a lot of ways to experience certainty in a positive way so we can experience any one of these human needs in a positive or in a negative way.

04:32​We can, we can use any of these human needs in a positive or negative way to growth way or a harmful way. So we can be used certainty. We can be very certain that this abusive person is going to show up every single day and we stick in that relationship because we’re certain that we’re going to have some money, but it’s a very abusive person that is a bad use of certainty, in my opinion. You should be standing with a piece of people. However, having a sense of stability from a partner that you’re in life with, you’re married to or your your parents or whatever, having a sense of stability, uh, is a good thing. Also, it can be a very good thing and it’s necessary. There’s polarity in every single one of these needs. I hope you understand that. So number one is certainty.

05:20​Number two is uncertainty. Number three is significance. What’s number four? Number four is love and connection and love and connection. It deals with romantic love and personal connection. It’s just connecting with people or all the way down to actual romantic love with people. So that’s number four. That’s a fourth human need. Love and connection. What are five and six now? Four, five and six are the spiritual needs. Five and six are two human needs that not a lot of people, not a lot of people force themselves to learn. Not a lot of people, they need them, but not a lot of people forced themselves to use them in the positive way. These last two human needs. If we want to live a fulfilling life, we need to experience these last two. And what I’m learning is a lot, a lot of people get to experience these last two.

06:09​I mean it unless you choose to, you have to choose to. So what are the last two human needs, growth and contribution. We always got to feel like we’re growing. If you can constantly grow, you’re going to feel really good. If you can constantly contribute, you’re going to feel really good. So those are the six human needs and there’s a lot more I have to learn about the interaction between them and the interaction between people and how we use them for our benefit and for our detriment because we can do both ways. So it’s certainty, uncertainty,

06:46​wow.

06:46​Which is stability in variety. And then there’s significance and then there’s love growth and connection, I mean contribution. So those are the six human needs. All right. AndI want to really talk about real quick also the, there’s three types of relationships that we can have and this is mostly dealing,

07:12​There is the sun coming up. How awesome.

07:17​Good morning everybody. So this is really fascinating to me. There are three types of relationships, mostly within family relationships, but these, I believe they could probably translate into many other relationships as well. There’s a symmetrical relationship. There’s a complimentary relationship, and then there’s malignant relationships. And if you can imagine already with those three are a complimentary relationship is one where a husband and wife are doing really well. They don’t bake or they don’t argue, they, they give, they take, they contribute to each other’s needs. It’s a complimentary relationship. Each one of them have responsibilities that compliment the others upon responsibilities.They’re not doing the exact same things in that marriage to contribute. However, they’re also caring about the other person’s needs and they’re contributing to the other person’s desires, needs once and all that kind of stuff. So that is a complimentary relationship. You can also have a complimentary relationship in a teacher student relationship or a mentor, mentee relationship.

08:24​Those are also complimentary relationships because a lot of times a complimentary relationship, you’ll have someone that will tell another person what to do or someone that will know what to do based upon what the other person wants. But if it happens mutually, it actually works really well. If you know what the other person wants you to do it for them and then they know what you want and they do it for you. That’s a good complementary relationship, but you can also have it with students and teachers where you tell the student wants to do in the student does it because the student knows that they’re going to be learning from this other person. So there’s a lot of ways to have complimentary relationships with. This isa positive one now there’s also one called symmetrical relationships and now symmetrical relationships. Those are interesting. There is escalation that happens in symmetrical relationships and it’s actually called symmetrical escalation and what is symmetrical escalation?

09:18​It’s bickering when interrelationship if you and your partner want. It’s totally a lot of times pointless stuff. I heard an example about a couple at a Italian restaurant. The boyfriend takes the girlfriends to the Italian restaurant and it’s the best Italian restaurant in town and he ordered this pasta and she’s like, I dunno, I might want some steak. And then he’s like, well, you can’t come to this restaurant. It’s a anItalian recipe. You can’t come to a Thai restaurant and not order pasta, so what are some pasta honey? And she’s like, well I don’t want to, what if I want to order steak? And he’s like, baby, you can’t do that. You got to order pasta and she’s like, I don’t have to do anything. If I want to do something, I’m going to order steak. If I want steak I’m going to get steak.

10:05​He’s like, hey look, I’m not really visit and as it keeps it’s Pickering and then all of a sudden it ends up he ruins the meal for her and she ruins the meal for him and it’s all ruined. That’s a symmetrical escalation situation where everybody’s trying to ge tthe upper hand. You’re all, you’re trying to show the other person that you are the one in charge. You are the one that’s the strongest one in that situation and that can escalate into a bickering situation. Now there’s a third type and it’s called malignant escalation. Malignant escalation is not a good situation. It’s a terrible situation. It’s actually a situation that can lead to violence cause malignant escalation is when both people are actually trying to hurt each other and that i show the situation gets escalated. So if you can under identify with any one of these relationships or if you can identify with human needs, psychology, I, I would recommend that you would go check out clothing, Madonna’s and read some of her books.

11:10​She has got some audio books and just check out humanist psychology. See what you think.It’s very fascinating stuff. It really, there’s one situation also where it talks about the types of relationships as in shapes. So shapes. Think about a triangle. I can’t do a triangle with one hand. Maybe I can, I don’t know. There’s a triangle.Relationship and triangle relationship is a, there’s three points of, there’s three people and there’s usually it’s two parents and a kid, but it can be any three people, but it’s two people in power. One person not in power. However, that one person not empowered might hold a lot of the power because a lot of times this third person that nobody wants to argue with is the one that the other two are allowing to create the riff between them. For instance, husband, wife, a kid who doesn’t want to do anything, husband and wife began arguing with themselves because they don’t feel comfortable telling the third person the truth.

12:14​So then they bicker with themselves. So that’s a triangle relationship and there’s also circle relationship. I hope you guys are getting this. I hope you guys are enjoying it as it’s fascinating to me. But then there’s a circle relationship. And what a circle relationship. How different is that from a triangle? Well, the circle relationships, that’s our peer group. This is where everybody in the group is in at the same level or similar levels. We all need circles and we’re all in triangles. So just understand this. All this is doing for me is shedding light on my personal relationships, shedding light on all the relationships in my life and making me question how, how I interact and how other people act with me and what it means and how to get better in my relationships. So I hope this is all helping you to because it’s fascinating stuff.

13:05​Really, really fascinating stuff. And also, hey, I got this shirt in South Africa. This is Ubuntu. Do you guys know, do bond two is open to, is it philosophy? I think it’s also like an operating system or some kind of a computer program, but who bun two is a philosophy, an Africa, uh, African philosophy called contribution ism. It’s actually a society where they’re eliminating money and they are bringing in just a contribution ism. So you can live in a society without money, but you will contribute to your expertise and your knowledge. And it’s a very fascinating concept. But also there’s everybody’s trying to go away from money and against money because there’s this big thing on money that is bad, but there’s a lot of benefits to money too. Money is actually the thing that built this whole country and there’s a lot of ways to use it properly.

14:02​There’s a lot of ways to use it bad, but money is a tool. Just like any, anything else. We’re gifted. It’s tools just like all six human needs. These are, they can be used positive, that can be used negative. So choose how you want to, you know, learn from the relationships in your life. And she used to grow from them because the top two human needs are growth and contribution. And once you start experiencing growth every single day and once you start contributing more, that’s when life starts. Cheyenne. That’s when everything starts shining a lot more. So I hope you know, I love Ya. Hope you guys have any questions. If you do have any questions, please put them in the comments below because I really want to answer your questions. I want to, I want to answer the questions that are really going on in your life and one of these videos I’m going to have to talk about Moringa, but I might have to bring up some marine, get to the top of the mountains of Marina, can experience the mountain with me.

14:51​But you guys are awesome. You’re amazing and I hope you have some, an incredible weekend. But today’s Sunday. Wow. It’s already Sunday day 14 for me. Uh, and we are getting close to July, the middle of the year. So I would ask you what are your midyear resolutions, what are your midyear resolutions and also if you guys haven’t checked it out, my first shareable nugget was released yesterday where I went full preacher on these little quick two minute shareable nuggets. So if you feel like sharing them, feel free today. My second one’s coming out but I’ve got37 of them. Not all of them are full preacher but, but there’s a handful of them that are. So anyways, I love you guys. Hope you’re having an incredible day and um, yeah, until next time, develop awesome skills. My Name is David[inaudible] stone, and go find your gold.