Day 8 of 30 – Childhood Programming & What Is Anger?

Childhood Can Program 85% of Our Adult Habits… EEK! 

What is our conscious mind?

If you really think about it, our conscious mind is our filter of the world, our filter using our past experiences. So if our conscious mind is our, our conscious filter of the world, then when we’re under five years old, we don’t have enough life experiences to have built our filter yet, if that makes sense. So the interesting things that studies are finding right now is that by the time we’re five to seven years old, 85% of our adult habits are locked in. Is that crazy? Cause I think that’s pretty crazy because when you think about it, we’re running on subconscious programs.

why do I mention this in regards to anger is because sometimes when you’re a kid, there are angry adults around you. And if you’re a kid and there’s some angry adults around you, you might pick up this installation of anger. Now I heard something really interesting from Tony Robbins. Anger is covering up hurt, hurt is covering up a sense of loss. So ultimately anger stems from a sense of loss. Now you might disagree with me on that. Maybe you agree with me on that. Maybe you agree with Tony robins on hat or not, but it’s a very interesting concept. Anger underneath anger is hurt. So when we get angry, we got hurt. We were hurt. So we popped too. We didn’t know how to react. We were hurt. But underneath that hurt is a sense of loss because the reason we’re getting angry is because we fear we might lose something.

Awareness Can Breed Compassion 

I don’t know if that resonates with you, but it’s fascinating to think about because it gives you so much more compassion for people that get angry and it gives me a lot more reasons to not get angry.

How To Un-Install Anger – A Story From My Past

Now I’m going to give you a quick little story from my past. So I was a kid and I had an anger installation in my mind, and I’ll tell you how I got rid of that in a little bit. But when I was younger, I had an anger installation and I was driving my car on the freeway and this semi driver cuts me off and I was so mad I was turning red. I drove up right next to him. All I could see was him. I looked up right up at him, I flipped him off, I gave him the bird and gave him the finger and he saw me and I got kind of nervous that I looked through.

I’m like, okay. And then I just like, we’re like this to try to go forward. But the traffic stopped, the traffic stopped and I was staring right at him, staring right back down on me after I flipped him off. So that’s anger and anger happens in a moment. It happens so quickly. It’s not like you can necessarily prepare for anger because anger is, it’s a switch, it just happens and it’s a powerful emotion. And that’s a funny story. But that’s also like a, yeah, that was probably me at one of my worst. But I just want to relay that to you because anger can get us in some tough spots. And so now I want to mention, so basically anger that I had installed in me as a kid, I needed to get it turned off cause it was ruining some relationship as a kid for me.

So my, my mom actually knew it was, she actually made me go to anger management at a church and I did this anger band. I was, I think I was like 17 I think it was like 16 or 17 years old. And she made me go to anger management. So I went to anger management at this church and there was a group of like mid forties mid fifties men who were so bitter about life, about their families, about their wives, and they were just wanted to drive up to the mountains on their motorcycle and like get away from their life. And they were just so bitter. And I, I think I maybe went twice, but I know, I know it might’ve only been once, maybe I went a second time, but really that first time it just flipped my switch of anger off. I just went flip that switch off.

And actually, because I didn’t want to become that, I didn’t want to be that. I want it to be something much different than that. That was never my dream to be a bitter person. So I flipped the switch off and I didn’t, I wasn’t angry anymore. I made a choice as a kid, not to be angry, but here’s also the second half to that. What I didn’t realize, and I didn’t realize this actually until recently, I hit a depression in 2017 which took me through two years of craziness. And really it was the beginning of this year, 2019 January, while it was December when I really started climbing out and of 2018 and it’s interesting. So here’s, so here’s the thing I realized because during the last, the two years of 2017 to 2018 and 2019 my anger switch that I had installed as a kid got flipped back on and I didn’t know it.

And I hadn’t surrounded myself with anybody over the last 20 years of my life that allowed me to practice anger. I was never even allowed to, I didn’t even want to practice my anger because I flipped the switch off. I didn’t even really want to do it anymore. So I didn’t put myself around people that would make me angry for the most part. But then I found in 2017 there was people that were making me pop in. When I say that, I know I got to make a little clarification making me, when I say someone made me angry, we got to understand that these emotions come from within us. So ultimately nobody can make me angry. I get angry, I make myself angry. I choose to act angry in a situation. Maybe it’s a subconscious program choice. Those program choices are the most powerful choices that we make because they’re unconscious.

So we need to learn to reprogram our subconscious. So here’s what I learned. My anger switch got flipped back off for a couple of years in a few moments to about five different people over the course of two years. Man, I just felt buttons being pushed and boy did I pop. But it also was because I was hurt at what they said, and I had a sense of loss, like maybe they were either trying to take something from me. I was in a survival mode. When you’re in survival mode or scarcity mode, it’s very hard to feel abundant. And I am abundant in every situation around me. I have a food forest, I have an incredible family, a lot of love. I wasn’t abundant in the money or the mindset at the time, so anyways, but what I realized about all that is that the ANC, the switch of anger with you flip it off, that’s good, but we really need uninstalls the things that we don’t want.

We have to literally an install them so they’re not there anymore because if they’re still there we just flip the switch off. Then there is still there. It’s just turned off and it can get turned back on when you don’t expect it. I hope that makes sense. I’m trying to relay this as as clear, possibly clear as I can, but anger is a powerful emotion and when you understand that it’s related ultimately foundationally to a fear of loss or a sense of loss, it, it starts unraveling a little bit for me and making me understand underneath the covers and I hope that’s doing it a little bit for you also. So that’s really my message that I wanted to share with you today is anger. So put in the comments below if you’ve ever had a problem, not even with anger but with anything and if you recognize or or or if you resonate with what I’m saying here about anger ultimately being a sense of loss and also that we need to uninstalls some of these things that are within our subconscious paradigm that were installed before we can even remember.

I love you so much! Until next time, develop awesome skills and go find your gold!

~das

Shareable Meems Below!

Feel Free to Download and Share the Quotable Meems!

Full Episode Transcript With Timecode:

00:01​Good morning. Everybody is. Day Eight is a very special day today because check it out.That’s the full moon and sunrise. We get the full moon and we’ve got the sun.Isn’t that awesome? So what a cool day today. I hope everybody’s having a great one. I went to bed, I got, I got really excited last night. A little bit. Well, really a little bit. I got excited last night and uh, had a hard time falling asleep. So I ended up getting to bed around 10 and then, uh, getting up around four. So that’s not too bad. That’s six hours. I can operate on six hours of sleep sometimes. But that got admitted again this morning. I was like, I don’t want to get up, but I did anyway.I’m glad I did. I’m glad I did because what a freaking incredible day. Look at this.There’s the moon.

01:02​Wow.

01:07​Anyways, I hope you all had an incredible father’s day talking to your dad’s and talking to your kids. And yesterday was great. So the day after father’s day is a magical day.I’m going to turn around so we can start getting the sunrise here and like these pink skies that we get here in Phoenix.

01:30​Check that out. It’s so beautiful. Look at that. Something about Phoenix.

01:41​It’s really beautiful here. I love that moon right there. How cool is that?

01:49​Wow.

01:53​Yeah, check out those mountains.

01:57​Wow, so beautiful up here,

02:03​so I hope you’re having a great day today and today. I actually wanted to talk a little bit about anger. I learned some things about my past. Now there’s a quick thing I want to, before I get into the anger part, I want to talk about

02:23​that

02:25​chill before we’re five years old, before between five and seven years old about supposedly about 85% of our adult habits are locked in by the time we’re five to seven years old, and I’m going to break that down a little bit for you because

02:41​before we’re five years old, we don’t have a conscious mind yet. Before we were five years old, we only have an unconscious mind or subconscious mind. We have a mind where everything is from, our environment is dumped in. What is our conscious mind? If you really think about it, our conscious mind is our filter of the world, our filter using our past experiences. So if our conscious mind is our, our conscious filter of the world, then when we’re under five years old, we don’t have enough life experiences to have built our filter yet, if that makes sense. So the interesting things that studies are finding right now is that by the time we’re five to seven years old, 85% of our adult habits are locked in. Is that crazy? Cause I think that’s pretty crazy because when you think about it, we’re running on subconscious programs.

03:39​I talk about this in my book too. There’s three ways we can be programmed in our lifetime.The first way is before we can even remember, the first way we can be programmed is before we can remember all the stuff that happened during our childhood, before we can even have memory of it. And that actually is controlling our daily activities. So that’s my question for you. How do you identify those things that are holding you back, that were programmed prior to you remembering? Like I said, there’s three things. The second thing is that we can be programmed by others. We can allow others to program, to install certain programs in our minds be third ways we can program ourselves so we can program habits in ourselves extremely consciously as adults. So there’s a lot of different ways we can program ourselves as adults. But the, the one crazy way is that we’ve been programmed prior to us even remembering that stuff.

04:37​So I find that being pretty crazy. So why, why do I mention this in regards to anger is because sometimes when you’re a kid, there are angry adults around you. And if you’re a kid and there’s some angry adults around you, you might pick up this installation of anger. Now I heard something really interesting from TonyRobbins. Anger is covering up hurt, hurt is covering up a sense of loss. So ultimately anger stems from a sense of loss. Now you might disagree with me on that. Maybe you agree with me on that. Maybe you agree with Tony robins on hat or not, but it’s a very interesting concept. Anger underneath anger is hurt. So when we get angry, we got hurt. We were hurt. So we popped too. We didn’t know how to react. We were hurt. But underneath that hurt is a sense of loss because the reason we’re getting angry is because we fear we might lose something.

05:41​I don’t know if that resonates with you, but it’s fascinating to think about because it gives you so much more compassion for people that get angry and it gives me a lot more reasons to not get angry. Now I’m going to give you a quick little story from my past. So I was a kid and I had an anger installation in my mind, and I’ll tell you how I got rid of that in a little bit. But when I was younger, I had an anger installation and I was driving my car on the freeway and this semi driver cuts me off and I was so mad I was turning red. I drove up right next to him. All I could see was him. I looked up right up at him, I flipped him off, I gave him the bird and gave him the finger and he saw me and I got kind of nervous that I looked through.

06:27​I’m like, okay. And then I just like, we’re like this to try to go forward. But the traffic stopped, the traffic stopped and I was staring right at him, staring right backdown on me after I flipped him off. So that’s anger and anger happens in a moment. It happens so quickly. It’s not like you can necessarily prepare for anger because anger is, it’s a switch, it just happens and it’s a powerful emotion. And that’s a funny story. But that’s also like a, yeah, that was probably me at one of my worst. But I just want to relay that to you because anger can get us in some tough spots. And so now I want to mention, so basically anger that I had installed in me as a kid, I needed to get it turned off cause it was ruining some relationship as a kid for me.

07:13​So my, my mom actually knew it was, she actually made me go to anger management at a church and I did this anger band. I was, I think I was like 17 I think it was like 16or 17 years old. And she made me go to anger management. So I went to anger management at this church and there was a group of like mid forties mid fifties men who were so bitter about life, about their families, about their wives, and they were just wanted to drive up to the mountains on their motorcycle and like get away from their life. And they were just so bitter. And I, I think I maybe went twice, but I know, I know it might’ve only been once, maybe I went a second time, but really that first time it just flipped my switch of anger off. I just went flip that switch off.

08:06​And actually, because I didn’t want to become that, I didn’t want to be that. I want it to be something much different than that. That was never my dream to be a bitter person. So I flipped the switch off and I didn’t, I wasn’t angry anymore. I made a choice as a kid, not to be angry, but here’s also the second half to that. What I didn’t realize, and I didn’t realize this actually until recently, I hit a depression in2017 which took me through two years of craziness. And really it was the beginning of this year, 2019 January, while it was December when I really started climbing out and of 2018 and it’s interesting. So here’s, so here’s the thing I realized because during the last, the two years of 2017 to 2018 and 2019 my anger switch that I had installed as a kid got flipped back on and I didn’t know it.

09:07​And I hadn’t surrounded myself with anybody over the last 20 years of my life that allowed me to practice anger. I was never even allowed to, I didn’t even want to practice my anger because I flipped the switch off. I didn’t even really want to do it anymore. So I didn’t put myself around people that would make me angry for the most part. But then I found in 2017 there was people that were making me pop in. When I say that, I know I got to make a little clarification making me, when I say someone made me angry, we got to understand that these emotions come from within us. So ultimately nobody can make me angry. I get angry, I make myself angry. I choose to act angry in a situation. Maybe it’s a subconscious program choice. Those program choices are the most powerful choices that we make because they’re unconscious.

10:00​So we need to learn to reprogram our subconscious. So here’s what I learned. My anger switch got flipped back off for a couple of years in a few moments to about five different people over the course of two years. Man, I just felt buttons being pushed and boy did I pop. But it also was because I was hurt at what they said, and I had a sense of loss, like maybe they were either trying to take something from me. I was in a survival mode. When you’re in survival mode or scarcity mode, it’s very hard to feel abundant. And I am abundant in every situation around me. I have a food forest, I have an incredible family, a lot of love. I wasn’t abundant in the money or the mindset at the time, so anyways, but what I realized about all that is that the ANC, the switch of anger with you flip it off, that’s good, but we really need uninstalls the things that we don’t want.

10:55​We have to literally an install them so they’re not there anymore because if they’re still there we just flip the switch off. Then there is still there. It’s just turned off and it can get turned back on when you don’t expect it. I hope that makes sense. I’m trying to relay this as as clear, possibly clear as I can, but anger is a powerful emotion and when you understand that it’s related ultimately foundationally to a fear of loss or a sense of loss, it, it starts unraveling a little bit for me and making me understand underneath the covers and I hope that’s doing it a little bit for you also. So that’s really my message that I wanted to share with you today is anger.So put in the comments below if you’ve ever had a problem, not even with anger but with anything and if you recognize or or or if you resonate with what I’m saying here about anger ultimately being a sense of loss and also that we need to uninstall some of these things that are within our subconscious paradigm that were installed before we can even remember.

12:12​Yeah, we installed certain things like smoking. If you smoke cigarettes you probably pick that up or you allowed someone else to install that for you. But it was probably your installation. You didn’t get that installed before you were five. Well maybe some people did. I don’t know. You know that’s the thing. Certain the the worst people act as adults, the most likely the worst was done to them before five to seven years old. And that is just my opinion. So this just gives you a little, it gives me a little bit of compassion for people out there. So I hope this helps. I hope you got some value out of this episode. If you did get some value out of this episode, please feel free to share it with three of your friends that might need it. I really am doing this just to encourage you all and also in the comments below, not only put what installations do you have to an install, what switches have you flipped off, flipped off over the years that maybe have been flipped back on that you didn’t really want to be flipped back on.

13:23​And how are, what’s your process for uninstalling? I’ve developed a full process to an install these hidden weaknesses and fears because I needed to do it. I actually, this wasn’t my only on installation that I had to do. Um, another big one was I had to uninstall my belief in money and I had to re install something new. That’s a whole nother episode. But uh, there’s a lot of bad beliefs out there about money.There’s a lot of cyclical poverty stricken beliefs about money out there that even if you get a lot of money and you’re in the cycle of poverty mindset, it’s not going to stick around. And, um, I have a lot to learn on this subject, but I’m just saying that’s, that’s another installation I had to totally change. So that’s a whole nother video though. But anyways, that’s what I wanted to talk about today. I hope you got some value out of this episode and enjoy my sunrise on top of this mountain here and check this out. Oh, by Gosh, I didn’t even look at my hair boy.

14:35​Um, see the shirt I’m wearing. I’m perfect or imperfect. We won the Phoenix film festival in2017 for this movie. You could see the trailer on line is probably on Facebook, visceral perception Facebook page, but it’s called I’m perfect movie or imperfectmovie. And you can see it’s a imperfect spelling of imperfect because there would be no apostrophe. So it’s anyways, it’s about designer babies. And uh, more than that, that’s a, um, indie love story dealing with genetically engineered and genetically modified babies. But we won the Phoenix film festival in 2017best director and Best Arizona feature. So that was pretty incredible. And RyanThomas Anderson, I love you bro. He was my director. And Gavin, I love you too bro. Hope you’re doing great. And Jane, you’re incredible. Hope you’re doing great. But Ryan, my brother, not my real brother by blood, but definitely my brother by experiences, he passed away. Ah, it’s probably how it’s been a while now. But he directed this movie. I’m perfect. He wrote it, directed it, I was the producer, I helped him make it happen, helped him make his dream come true.And we did. We made his dream come true. And then after that, life comes in and just kicks your butt. But, um, Ryan is with the big guy now, so I love you bro.And I miss you man. And uh,

16:18​okay.

16:20​I Dunno, I love you dude. I know you’re having a good time up there, but, um, anyways, I love all of you and I hope all of you is having a great day and I hope all of you has a great week, month, year, and life. And I just want to say thank you so much for doing what it takes to make this world a better place by being the best version of you that you can possibly become. So I love you so much. My Name’s DavidA. Stone, and until next time, develop awesome skills and go find your gold.